Simple Pleasures and a Lesson Learnt

Simple Pleasures and a Lesson Learnt

As some of you know, I work with teenagers with special needs. I am constantly delighted by their ability to take pleasure in the simple things in life. Today, while I was teaching a class swimming, one student was sitting at the side of the pool. She wasn’t swimming, but watching her class mates.

As the class left the pool, she became more animated, pointing to the water.

“Reflection” she kept saying.

“Reflection, reflection. Reflection of the trees.”

This student loves reflections. Reflections in windows, reflections in cars, reflections in boats, reflections in spectacles. She loves to see her reflection in anything but a mirror. She gains huge pleasure from seeing these reflections, and not just her reflection, but if she see a picture which has a reflection in it, she loves that too.

So, as I had my camera with me at the time, I took a photo of the reflection in the water of the trees outside the pool area, showed it to her for approval and promised it to her for next term.

In some respects, I don’t blame her for loving reflections. I have to admit, I do enjoy photographing them and looking at them myself. When you think about it, reflections also convey a sense of calm – you don’t get a reflection in rough water, only smooth, calm water. You don’t get a reflection in a rough surface, only smooth surfaces like glass. To sit and look at a reflection in water early in the morning before the wind builds is very calming.

Which brings me to the mirror. A smooth, flawless (usually) surface, cool to touch. Bright, revealing all. It can give the illusion of space as it reflects the area around it.

So why are we so afraid of what we see in the mirror? How is it we go through life projecting an air of confidence, telling others we are comfortable with who we are, yet if it came down to it, we would admit we don’t like what we see in the mirror? How many of us avoid looking in the mirror? I admit, there have been times I have avoided the mirror – which is hard when you have full length mirror wardrobe doors!

Enter Alice. Alice meant I could write in the third person, and protect myself from criticism – some habits die hard. So, Alice was born.  Her first story, “Through the Looking Glass”, came about six weeks into the study. It detailed Alice’s defining moment when she realised things weren’t “as they appeared.”

“Through The Looking Glass

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Alice. Okay, so her name wasn’t Alice and she wasn’t little, but why let the facts get in the way of a good story. Every morning Alice would look in the mirror and say “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

Now, before you all tell me “that was someone else”, I know, I know, but this is my fairy tale.

So, every morning, Alice would ask mirror this question, and every morning Alice would eagerly await the answer “why of course, it is you young Alice.”

Now, mirror wasn’t the most truthful of mirrors. When Alice looked in the mirror, she thought, “well, I know I’m not the slimmest of princesses out there (did I mention she is a princess?), but I’m not THAT big”, and would go on with her day. She would go off to work, eat and drink what she thought was a pretty good diet, and exercise occasionally.

Then one day, Alice saw something that upset her a lot. A photograph. It was then she realised that mirror was lying to her. She wasn’t “just well proportioned” – she was fat! There was no denying it! Alice just wanted to go and hide away in her tower and never see anyone ever again.

Alice retreated into herself, but went about her daily life as if nothing had happened. The light went out of her eyes, the smile did not appear on her face very often, and she kept to herself as much as possible. She threw herself into looking after her castle.

Now, you have to realise Alice lived in a fairytale land where she was constantly bombarded by the television and magazines with images of slim, beautiful princesses, who seemingly kept their lovely figures with no effort at all. Women who had babies and had their pre-baby bodies back with a wave of their magic wand – those dreaded “yummy mummies”. No matter how much Alice waved her magic wand, and implored her fairy godmother, she just could not lose weight.

Then one day, when Alice was eating dinner, she heard about a magic programme to help people lose weight. It was a trial, to bring people together “virtually”, to support each other, to provide assistance, to provide tools, to help them achieve their goals. Alice by now, was sick of being a fat princess in a thin princess world, so decided to sign up.

As the time came closer to begin, she said goodbye to her old lifestyle. She came to terms with no longer eating all those comforting foods that had become her only friends. Unable to wait any longer, she bought the book, and started a week before the trial started – she was amazed, she lost one kilogram.

Then, amidst much excitement, the trial began. The resources were there – food ideas, recipes, plans – and the much treasured support and understanding. And the realisation that there were so many other princesses out there just like her! She was no longer alone.

As part of Alice’s healing, she joined the gym. Then one day, something magical happened.

One morning as Alice was getting dressed, she caught sight of herself as she was pulling on her top. What’s this? What is this “depression” on my side? My goodness, my body is changing, it is starting to look slimmer, show a bit of definition. So Alice decided to have a good look at herself. Her legs were slimmer, bum a bit smaller – hey, this diet thing really was working.

Alice held herself up tall. The light came back to her eyes. A cheeky smile crept across her face. Then, the words came out – “mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”

And the reply – “you are” and this time, she knew mirror meant it.”

10 October 2010

As for my friend at school, I’m not sure why she won’t look at herself in the mirror, but I’m sure we can work on that!